Today I have the pleasure of being one of two stops on Jo Huey’s Transition blog tour! 🙂
Many thanks to Emma Mitchell for the opportunity to join in.
***Mine is extract 3, so please make sure you visit the previous stops, as shown on the banner above, if you haven’t already.***
Stimulating my brain and being active was important, I felt like a vacuum wanting to suck up all the information. Unfortunately, my mum found this frustrating and difficult.
You may have heard of the saying ‘children should be seen and not heard’, I got the feeling that is what my parents wanted from me. I wasn’t like Daisy; she would just do as she was told with no questions. She would never ask why or challenge what people said, they were her elders and she had the utmost respect for them.
It didn’t matter to me who I was asking, as far as I could see they were questions, nothing rude – just me needing and wanting to know more. But at that time children had their place and it wasn’t for a child to know things that weren’t relevant or their business.
It was hard to know how to improve my relationship with my mum; we are different people and just because we are family doesn’t guarantee we will get on. I’ve heard other people say this and whilst it is hard to hear, it is true. Thankfully, I’ve managed to realise that how I’ve been acting towards my mum is from a place of anger and hurt and learning to let that go and forgive has been a long time coming. Sometimes you just don’t like or get on with your family, I know I had periods with Daisy where we just didn’t like each other. But we do still love each other.
Dad was forever saying that I would never be able to do the things I dreamed about and I should be ‘realistic’; choose options at school that would help me get a job etcetera.
Dad never inspired me or supported me in a way I believe a parent should do. I see now how my friends treat their children and whilst part of me admires it, a big part is jealous and often I feel like they are spoiling their children.
But that isn’t the case at all. They are just doing what parents do, taking their kids to clubs, events, parties and school; supporting them with their homework; telling them they can achieve and do whatever they want to. They listen to their troubles, and tell them they don’t have to worry about anything.
My life was the opposite of that. I had to get myself everywhere I needed to go, bike or bus. Dad rarely took us anywhere and Mum didn’t drive. Dad was absent much of the time; and Mum wasn’t academic – she tried, but she wasn’t always able to help with homework. At the time, I felt my dreams were never encouraged; and I had to face the cold truth that I wouldn’t be able to even attempt achieving my dreams or take a risk. Sometimes I came up with random ideas like wanting to be a pop star or something but I didn’t want to hear I couldn’t do it, that completely shattered my excitement. It didn’t matter to me whether it was a practical idea or that it was likely, I just wanted to embrace it and have fun with it.
Mum did listen at times to my troubles but I always felt it was with half an ear out for something else. Her attention never felt like it was 100% on me in any given moment. This is understandable now because she had so much on her plate at home and I do believe she did her best. As for worrying about things, I felt I had the world on my shoulders, and the responsibility that came with living in an alcoholic environment felt too much for me. I spent far too much time worrying about things and feeling on edge, anticipating what was going to happen, if an argument was imminent or if I was going to be shouted at.
One thing I recall vividly is that my home was never a safe place to be, it should be the main place where you feel safe but for me there was danger, a lot of unknowns, and I had little or no way of protecting myself.
An autobiography of Jo’s life from the trauma and unpredictability of living in an alcoholic home, through self-development transformation to the more content, happy and successful business woman she is today.
Jo shares her many insights into alcoholism and the effects on the family. An honest and brutal account of Jo’s experience with her father’s addiction to alcohol, she shares the highs and lows of life with an absent father and busy mother.
After life hit an all-time low in adulthood she decided to turn her life around and start a journey of self-discovery. Jo transformed herself through therapy, self-help books, groups, events and more which she shares in the book.
If you have experienced the challenges of living with someone’s drinking, then you’ll relate to Jo’s experience and feel the connection with her story.
If you are interested in an inspirational and motivational story, then you won’t be disappointed. Within the book, Jo shares several techniques you’ll be able to learn and use in your life if you really want the change you seek.
Jo Huey is an inspirational & motivational speaker, coach and author.
Jo gets up every morning wanting to help those with experiences like hers, those affected by someone’s drinking. She connects the dots to form a new picture using practical tools & techniques with the aim that they would genuinely feel better about themselves and live a calmer and chaos free life.
Buy a copy…..
Facebook Q & A
Thursday, 10 August at 8.00 p.m.
About the author…..
Jo is an inspirational speaker, coach and author. She is also an adult child of an alcoholic and shares her personal story of living with an alcoholic father for 16 years and how that has impacted her adult life.
Jo is brutally honest about her experience, explaining how she coped as a child in an alcoholic home and the self-development journey she took in her twenties to overcome the trauma.
If you’ve experienced the impact of living with a heavy drinker, someone’s addiction or mental health problem you’ll relate to Jo’s story. For those of you that haven’t experienced what an alcoholic home brings it will give you an insight into the damage it causes to the family.
Jo shares her story for two reasons, the first is to connect with those that have been affected so they know they aren’t alone and the second to educate and inform others about this very hidden problem.